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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27823615">OMAKE: Unconditionally</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/worldinviolet/pseuds/worldinviolet'>worldinviolet</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Unconditionally [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Walking Dead (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Art, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Gen, Headcanon, One Shot, Romance, Side Story, extra content, in line with series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:42:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,201</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27823615</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/worldinviolet/pseuds/worldinviolet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a post for all the ideas, imagines, and side stories that could have formed part of the Unconditionally series but haven't for not giving anything to the plot.<br/>Most of the stories will have a little description to link to the main story! also some images and art pieces (terribly amateur) about the stories!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carl Grimes &amp; Rick Grimes, Carl Grimes/Eleanor Sherry, Carl Grimes/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Unconditionally [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/737889</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>Unconditionally Book 1: Encounter </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Through the nailed window, her dark brown eyes searched the reflective flare of the skyscraper windows... her brown curly hair, tied in a loose bun, served as a head cushion as she lolled her head from side to side. Slowly, she changed the morning light of the outside for the darkness that surrounded her.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The newcomer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A one-shot in Carl's point of view when, back at Atlanta, his father appeared as a miracle... and alongside him, a young and weird looking newcomer.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one shot goes along with Book one of Unconditionally. Please be noted that since my writing style has changed, I've rewritten the first chapter, some small details have changed but he overall plot remains the same. if there are somethings you don't recognize, you can visit Book one again.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Carl was not a child that cried for every little thing. At school, crybabies were usually the ones bullied, so it had become a tacit rule for him to suck it up and wait for things to change or change them himself. He was proud of his own strength, and thought that adults thought the same... that it was unacceptable to cry for petty things or difficulties that happened along the day. </p><p>That was, at least, until his mother came for him one day, and told him that his father had been shot and was at that moment, on his way to the hospital. </p><p>The tears started falling, he felt helpless, and he hugged his mother... who was also tearing up at his sight. This did not qualify as a 'petty thing'; still he tried his best to remain strong. It served him. From then on, things became more and more difficult. His mother told him that his father was unable to wake from his sleep, and that was what being in a coma meant. Uncle Shane, dad's partner and childhood friend, stayed beside them. Then THAT happened, and Shane took them away from home when it happened, when people screamed and ran terrified and Carl saw for the first time in his life monsters that up to that moment he though were not real.</p><p>His mother called them walkers. </p><p>They left everything behind; his toys, his things... also mom's and also his father's. From then on, everyday was a camping trip. Living in moving in cars, resting in the uncomfortable ground, always eating smoked meat or canned food. At first it was fun, but it started to become dull. Still; he wouldn't voice his discomfort. Once again, he needed to be strong for his mother, who must have been missing his father as much as he did. They met more people and Carl tried to ignore the fact that they were only ones that didn't have the father at their side. His mother tried, she dotted on him and kept on repeating that even if they were different, it wasn't that big of a deal... and that he shouldn't feel bad for it. </p><p>His mother tried. </p><p>But of course, she couldn't succeed at everything. Carl couldn't help it, when the others left for scavenging and when they returned victorious. He couldn't ignore it, when he saw the other children running and hugging their dads, when they puffed their chest in pride at their bravery. He couldn't stop hoping that on one of those trips, as if it had only been an over elaborate joke, his father would appear among them... as if nothing had happened. </p><p>The day the scavenging group returned from Atlanta, he cried again. It was a cry of pity, of impotence, and of resentment. Because his mother kept repeating that she was there for him, and he could only think that he still wanted his father back. He cried again, because the wish was granted, because he dared to look beside him one last time and he was there, just as he had imagined it. His father was back, and safe and on his uniform, just as he had last saw him. He ran to him, his tears streaming freely down his face. He was too happy to care, this was not a petty thing. He could cry out his tension, it would be alright. </p><p> </p><p>But then, his peace was interrupted by a strident laugh. </p><p> </p><p>His father had not come alone. There was another new face to the group. He thought nothing of it, until his father stood with an ample smile and walker up to that stranger. Then, as if this had been a years long friendship, he guided the stranger to where his mother and he was. She was young. Carl eyed her, suspicious and confused. His father seemed to be very familiar with her and he started to feel jealousy. His mother had never seen her either and she was as tense as he was. Still, the woman approximated with a smile. </p><p>She had brown hair, a little lighter than his mother, and was all tucked in some kind of bun that balanced from one shoulder to the other. She was using a light colored sweater, a pink shirt and black pants with many pockets. Carl frowned at the look of her skin... she looked as if she hadn't taken a shower in weeks; but her clothes looked new. </p><p>"Eleanor, I want you to meet somebody," his father said, standing to the side, he extended his hand... that landed on his mother's shoulder affectionately and smiled. "Eleanor, this is my Wife Lori, and my son Carl," </p><p>"Nice to meet you," his mother greeted first, but he could hear the strain on her voice. Carl grew restless and thought of a moment... why would this woman knew his father?  He had never presented the people he saved before, when he was a cop. Was he so late to meet them because he had to help her along the way?</p><p>He couldn't help the feeling of jealousy that threatened to grow inside him.</p><p>The girl flashed him a big smile, "Hello Carl, I'm Eleanor, nice to meet you," She extended her hand. He looked back at her dark eyes and decided, he would not be easily charmed. He stated clearly.</p><p> </p><p>"Were you saved by my dad?"</p><p> </p><p>"Carl, greet her properly," his mother said under her breath. Carl looked down, not being able to help the blush that rose to his cheeks. For a moment he thought that his mother would side on him this time, he didn't want to great her; and now he even made a bad impression. He didn't dare to look at his father. Instead, they both broke in laughter and Carl looked up startled, blushing even more. The girl flashed him another post card smile, and did the unthinkable. Before he could react, she took his hand and shook it for him. Carl thought that he couldn't be more humiliated, until she decided to speak again. </p><p>"Actually, your dad was saved by me," </p><p>It was a joke, right? </p><p>Carl looked at his father in disbelieve. This one did nothing more than corroborate what she said, raising his hands, he confessed that he would have never reached camp if it weren't for her help. His dad, a cop, a life saver.... had his life saved? He turned to the always smiling girl and the urge to question her about it was almost to much for him to bare; and that's when Shane arrived. The smiley stranger turned surprised, she looked intimidated, and Carl smirked. He thanked the woman and she praised his father instead, saying something along the lines of staying with the group. </p><p>For a second time that day, he would feel that someone was pulling a joke on him. </p><p>Shane asked the weapons the young woman would have along with her, and she complied. Carl thought that there must be some with her, after all, she was assuring that she saved his father instead of the other way around. She moved to pull out a pair of guns... just like the ones his father had. He would be then surprised when she started pulling out much... much more. </p><p>Knives. </p><p>The woman was loaded with knives! This was a weapon that Carl didn't see often, and by the comments of his mother... he related more to thugs and thieves, dangerous people. She produced them as if she sold them, even Shane seemed impressed. He tried to get a better look at the weirder ones, a curved one that almost looked like the claws of the eagles he saw at the zoo. His mother stopped him however, and he silently protested. The parade stopped, then, and he released his breath disappointed; now he would never see them again. At least, that was until Shane mentioned something about 'special weapons' and the smiley woman pulled up her sweater.</p><p> </p><p>Carl concluded he liked knives.</p><p> </p><p>They almost looked like swords. He gasped, his blue eyes devouring all the details he could get. The handles looked drawn... sculpted, the main color was a dark green, but the lines that formed the leaves and twirls were cream... almost white. He could spot the form of a deer and other animals along those lines and suddenly, his view was blocked completely. He moved to protest, but a stern look of his mother had him remaining silent and still. </p><p>And like that, the woman graduated from being an obnoxious stranger to a cool acquaintance of his father. </p><p>She fought to keep the blades with her. Carl was ecstatic, he knew that if he played his cards right, he might manage to see them again. His father said that she knew how to use them and now the story of her helping his father escape Atlanta wasn't that ridiculous. </p><p>"It's time to do your homework," his mother said suddenly, moving him to walk away. Carl whined, looking at his father that had the young woman by the wrist and talking to her, while the others left. He told her something, and she nodded with a little smile. Carl wondered what they were talking about... was his father not okay with her having the blades on camp? But it all ended fast, he turned and the woman spared him a curious look before she went to meet Dale, he conducted her to make the tour around camp... and they left Carl's field of vision. </p><p> </p><p>But not for long. </p><p> </p><p>Like a detective, Carl Grimes appointed himself the daunting task of following the steps of the new comer. He repeated to himself, these were safety measures, she was keeping weapons around and his mother didn't approve, he had to make sure she wouldn't pull them out on a whim.... he would be attentive when she did. So when his father was busy or talking with his mother, Carl would sneak his way away from them, and try to locate that white sweater. At first, nothing happened, he limited himself to keep hidden and follow her every move. But the hours passed and she kept her word. Not only did she kept her word... she was getting along with everyone. </p><p>But Literally... everyone. </p><p>People even gave her things. She got a new tent, she helped move around some stuff, she presented herself to everyone in the camp and... as she steadily shook hands and flashed ample grins at every new stranger, Carl started to look at his own hand. A pressure lodged on his chest, close to his stomach... it was a strange feeling, bordering between needle pain and the sensation when you had tickles. He blushed, and hid behind a tree. He soon realized he was feeling shame. Now, he was angry at himself, because he was the only one that she had not shaken hands with... that she hadn't flashed a charming smile at, the only one that right now wasn't friends with her. </p><p>He wanted to be friends. </p><p> </p><p>Dinner was boring and at the same time... relaxing. He lay down against his father, reveling in the attention after so many days of his absence. His father caressed his head and Carl felt contented. He eyed from moment to moment the newcomer, who only smiled at Rick or the words that some people say. Carl looked away, feeling resentment. That's when they started talking about Atlanta and Merle Dixon, a member of the camp but someone he wasn't allowed to come near. It appeared that he had turned violent and his father had been forced to reduce him. Served him right, Carl thought, his father wouldn't have reacted that way if Merle Dixon didn't deserve it. However, T-dog mentioned that the man was still alive and that he couldn't be left there; for a moment, Carl felt a sense of dread. </p><p>The conversation ended, nobody said anything else about Merle Dixon and Carl thought that it was the end of it. So he moved with his parents to the large tent he was already sharing with his mother. He smiled, thinking that he would like it to be cramped if it meant that his father would be there. </p><p>He turned then, and spotted the newcomer going to her own tent. He lingered, and saw how she opened the zip of the entrance and let herself seat while looking at the sky. Her posture was relaxed, and it seemed that she was not going to enter yet. </p><p>Also, she was alone. </p><p> </p><p>Giving a last look at his parents, who were talking with Shane and T-dog by their tent, he traced back his steps and stood some feet away from the new comer. He then cleared his throat and he clenched his fists, standing really straight. The new comer turned her dark eyes at him and he knew... that he had to make things right this time. </p><p>So he apologized for being rude, and she repeated their presentation of that morning.</p><p> </p><p>That night, as he got ready to sleep, Carl smiled. He was happy, because his father returned. But he was also happy because he made a new friend, a strange woman that had cool weapons and had saved his dad. </p><p>With a yawn he closed his eyes and concluded... he liked Eleanor. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The meaning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"<em>....Oh holly night... the stars are brightly shining, it is the night when our dear lord was born......." </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>"</em>Of our dear Savior's birth," Rick corrected. With a glare Eleanor shushed him up, hanging the green birthday paper on the entrance to her cell. </p>
<p>"It sounds better this way," </p>
<p>"Just say you don't remember," Carl commented, bringing in a bag with more colored paper and cut bed sheets. </p>
<p>"No! I refuse!" She said back, "...<em>Oh holy night...." </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had heard that 'Oh holy night' five times already. Rick was letting out a defeated sigh when Daryl entered and groaned. </p>
<p>"Again! Don't you know anything else?!" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"..." Eleanor cleared her throat and swung her hips from side to side, "<em>Rocking around! The Christmas tree, aaat  the Christmas party pop!" </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Correct her again and I'll kill you," Daryl menaced and Rick smirked.</p>
<p>The former sheriff looked around him, Carl was passing Eleanor some tree shaped papers when he heard laughter and congratulations behind him. They all turned. Michonne and Oscar were bringing in a middle sized tree. Eleanor squeaked in delight and Carl and the other children ran to see it up close. </p>
<p>"What an amazing surprise!" Carol said with an ample smile. "Where did you find a pine?" </p>
<p>"By southwest. Michonne climbed the tree like a monkey," Tyresse mentioned, he had the ax by the shoulder and was entering with the same jolly state. </p>
<p>"Well, if it isn't Mr. 'I'm scared of heights' to call me monkey," Michonne said back and the Oohs that preceded a challenge started ringing around the area. Rick barked a laugh and Eleanor hopped over to inspect the tree with more care. </p>
<p>Rick was glad that they could spend Christmas this way, he only wished Lori was there too but... in a sense, he wanted to believe she was there regardless. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Pst! Rick," He turned behind him, there was no one there, "Psssst! Rick!"</p>
<p>It was Eleanor, she had slyly scouted to his side, "I need to talk to you for a second... about THAT thing,"</p>
<p>"That thing?"</p>
<p>"THAT thing," she emphasized again.</p>
<p>Said 'Thing' was Carl's birthday present. To be certain, Rick knew nothing of it, in the sense that he had NO idea what Eleanor was planning to give him. He had only provided the time, the excuses and the energy for her to do it. The secrecy behind it had been unnerving; but at the same time he hoped whatever Eleanor had prepared for his son would be something to cheer him up over everything that has happened. </p>
<p>It had been difficult for them to settle down, it had been even more difficult for Rick to pull Carl away from weapons, from those memories, from the Governor. Rick felt that it was time that his son acted more like a kid, even if he remembered he had asked of Carl to be an adult, he regretted it. Now that they had something close to a home, he wanted his son to be a child again. </p>
<p>That would be the best Christmas present. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"The generator has been moved to where you wanted it," </p>
<p>"Good, good," Eleanor said, still smiling at the front. She waved and Rick noticed Carl had been staring at their exchange. These past months had allowed him to learn what it meant, and he could recognize that suspicious gaze anywhere, specially now as it was coming their way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Hey, you like the tree?" Eleanor said first, "Pretty right?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, it's nice," he turned to look at his father, "Something wrong?"</p>
<p>"Wrong? what's wrong? Nothing is wrong," Eleanor said with a giggle and Rick wanted to slap his forehead hard.</p>
<p>How was it, that this young adult -no she was already 24, that statement was long gone- That this woman managed to put up a deceiving poker face to fool and manipulate other people... but when it was about his son, she quivered like a teenager that was sent to the principal's office. Moreover, his son behaved as if He was the principal. The teenager squinted his eyes. </p>
<p>"Do you think I haven't noticed? Something's off with you two..." he opened his eyes, "Is it the governor?" </p>
<p>"It has nothing to do with the governor," Rick intervened; "and there's nothing you should worry about," </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Carl flared his nostrils but Rick sustained his gaze. With a nervous smile, Eleanor pushed the teen away and back to their labor. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Tell me,"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Hm?"</p>
<p>"What are you hiding from me?" </p>
<p>With a sigh, Eleanor looked down at Carl, she didn't want her surprise to be tainted by misunderstandings, but she didn't want to explain it either. She considered what was worse and decided to thread it carefully.</p>
<p>"Your birthday present," she added fast "And don't ask me what is it because I am NOT going to tell you,"</p>
<p>Carl wide-eyed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"My birthday is on New Year's eve,"</p>
<p>"I know,"</p>
<p>"That's a week from now," </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Yeah, that's how time works," she smiled and Carl glared again. Eleanor turned her smile into a grin and she ruffled his hair, "Don't worry, you have a Christmas present too. It's just, your birthday present is an special surprise," </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"...I haven't got you anything," </p>
<p><br/>Eleanor turned surprised, but a sweet smile crept to her face. She climbed down of the chair she was in. The boy looked ashamed and sad, and Eleanor hated it. </p>
<p>"Well, I'm also going to enjoy your present so I guess it counts for both of us," he didn't answer, "or... I could hug you, give you a loud squeaky kiss on the forehead and tell you that the only present I want is to see you smile-"</p>
<p>"Don't you dare," </p>
<p>She laughed. "When you were younger you weren't so scared of PDA, what happened to you? Hormones?"</p>
<p>"The past is the past," he said annoyed and Eleanor giggled, "Why don't you go singing your carols again and leave me alone," </p>
<p>She laughed harder, and took the stool she was standing over and walked to the other side of the prison. Noticing her moving, Carl walked behind her. </p>
<p>She kept on teasing him, it's something she liked to do. Carl knew, he was intimidating to other people, to other children, but with Eleanor and his father... it was all useless. One would think that the young woman even thought that he was cuter that way, she squealed and laughed every time he was brooding or with a sour mood. It reminded him of his mom, who didn't smile at him, but patted his head from time to time, giving him space. It was a way to acknowledge his inner turmoil and somehow disregard it all together. </p>
<p>This would be the first Christmas he wouldn't be spending with her. She wouldn't be beside him on his birthday either. </p>
<p>Almost involuntarily, the tears built up on his eyes. He wide eyed, and moved fast to wipe them away; he was not alone, there was so many people roaming around and he didn't want any of them to see him like this. He didn't want his father to see him like this. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Are you done over there?" The old sheriff said, walking to them. Carl panicked and gave his father his back. </p>
<p>"We are-Whoah!!"</p>
<p>He looked up, there was a rattle and suddenly, Carl's head was covered in colored rags. Then, he heard an strident laugh and a pair of arms circled him and pulled him against something warm and soft. </p>
<p>"Ahahaha! I'm so sorry little buddy! Are you okay?"</p>
<p>"I should be the one asking that. Are you alright? That was quite the fall,"</p>
<p>"I'm cool! I'm cool! please... it's not like I've fallen from a building!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What had happened? Carl tried to get away from Eleanor's embrace and break free from the mess of decorations. His bit his lip in frustration, Why was all of this happening today? he wanted to scream, until one hand sneaked it's way between the sheets and reached his cheek. </p>
<p>A delicate thumb cleaned the tears away, and Carl knew that his father couldn't see it. </p>
<p>He stopped fighting, and between Eleanor's reassurances and laughs... his father walked away. Carl took a breath, and he remained still as Eleanor lifted the decorations and tossed them aside. He kept his gaze trained to the ground when Eleanor dusted his hat and adjusted it to his head. </p>
<p>"Bullet dodged," She whispered. </p>
<p>"Yeah,"</p>
<p>"Want to talk about it?"</p>
<p>"No,"</p>
<p>"Okay," She conceded and climbed the stool once again. In silence, he picked the decorations and passed them to Eleanor when it was necessary. She kept on humming and making jokes to by passers, but they finished their duties faster than expected. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"How do you even-!?"</p>
<p>Patrick turned startled, the bits of colored paper taped together over a small box. Carl glared at the offending object and let himself fall against a chair. </p>
<p>"W-what... did I do now?" </p>
<p>"Nothing," Carl asked curtly and then sighed, putting his hat aside and ruffling his hair. "Ugh, was there some kind of.... SPECIAL present Run or something and I missed it?"</p>
<p>Patrick looked down at the box in his hands and then gave Carl a little giggle. </p>
<p>"Not really," The pre-teen turned his icy glare at his friend, this one lifted his hands in surrender. "I'm not lying! This is something I had and wanted to give to someone else,"</p>
<p>"So that's it? Who are you giving it to?"</p>
<p>"Um... Carol,"</p>
<p>"What is it?" </p>
<p>"A cooking book Eleanor brought once. I asked if she could give it to me and she relented," Carl frowned, and looked at the ceiling. When was the last time Eleanor had gone out on a run?... </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Carl wide eyed at what his memory provided. Eleanor had been on every single run for the past two months. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Of course!" Carl jumped up and Patrick flinched startled, "That woman! Even if I had wanted to get something she would have known it was for her! Arghh!"</p>
<p>He started pacing, and Patrick smiled. It was unnerving, the unfairness of the situation. Even if Eleanor said she didn't want anything, there had to be something Carl could give to her. </p>
<p>"Don't think too much about it. Being honest with you Carl, there's little to nothing you could give her," Carl turned to his friend,"Say, what's her favorite color?"</p>
<p>"Pink.... I think," he looked around him. Was that right though?</p>
<p>"Maybe you can give her a cute top or something. Does she have a personal style?" </p>
<p>"Um... sweaters, maybe," again, his answer was filled with doubt. Carl wide eyed, quickly realizing the pattern. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>What was Eleanor's favorite food? Favorite music type? Favorite band? Favorite color? Favorite clothes?</p>
<p>He didn't really know, he had never asked. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Shoot. Maybe Daryl has brought some light colored ones since last time..." Patrick provided; but Carl was no longer listening. </p>
<p>Another feeling had lodged on his stomach, something too close to the feeling he had when they were back at the outskirts of Atlanta; when he was young and he thought Eleanor would suddenly disappear. It was a sense of distance, as if Eleanor was just a stranger, someone that would leave suddenly because they had annoyed her... because Jim, Sophia's dad or anyone else wanted her gone. </p>
<p>He feared to be abandoned. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Um... Carl?"</p>
<p>"Thanks Pat, I'll figure something out," he ended and walked out, but not before patting his friend's shoulder and pointing at the present "That side looks bad,"</p>
<p>"*sigh* Thank you Carl," the older boy said, trying to fix it without tearing the paper away. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Seconds?"</p>
<p>"Oh! Yes! Thank you!" Eleanor said animated. With an even movement, her hand sneaked out of the quilt she was covering herself with and grabbed the plate that laid on the floor. She lifted it, and Daryl put another piece of meat on it. </p>
<p>"You are not even going to pretend you don't need anymore?" he teased and Eleanor turned her sugarcoated smile at him. </p>
<p>"But I want it! and It's Christmas,"</p>
<p>Yeah, she had been using that excuse for everything. Carl smiled, thinking that he had been just as childish when he was younger; because it was Christmas, his mother hanged around him more and he wasn't scolded for things he did. Because it was Christmas, he could walk to the police station and visit his dad just before dinner, despite him being an 11 year old. Because it was Christmas, he could watch TV and the marathon of Christmas movies without being told to stop. </p>
<p>Now, because it was Christmas, no one commented on the fact that he and Eleanor were sharing said quilt, and their plate, and their share on delicious Sir Theodor. </p>
<p>That stupid... stupid name. It took almost all his willpower to not laugh at it again. The morning of Christmas eve, Daryl had gone out hunting and had came back with a pair of pigs that were running around in the wild. Everyone was hyped about the finding, and after Hershel examined the animals, they decided to kill the male. Eleanor protested, since she had already named them... Sr. Theodor and Ms. Violet. Anyway, it was Christmas eve, and they were going to make side dishes instead of main ones to accompany a good old-fashioned roasted Pork. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's going to be midnight soon," commented Beth. </p>
<p>"Oh! My grandmother used to have this tradition of waiting until midnight and singing songs to Baby Jesus that we had represented in our Nativity Display," Eleanor answered, Carl frowned and looked up form under her</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"B-but what about Santa?" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Eh..." Beth wide eyed and giggled at the sudden anxious expression Eleanor was showing. His father joined and smirked at the young woman. "W-well you see... Santa came last to our house so we could stay a little past midnight-"</p>
<p>"I'm messing with you,"</p>
<p>His father guffawed, and Hershel followed suit. Eleanor  pouted at him and Carl smiled. The attention was soon taken by something else, and Eleanor whispered behind him. </p>
<p>"Since when have you known?"</p>
<p>"Six... Maybe," Carl commented, he turned and looked at a surprised Eleanor, he smiled "I mean, I had my doubts; but it was that fake beard at the shopping center Santa that sealed the deal,"</p>
<p>"Really?" </p>
<p>"I could see his real black beard underneath," </p>
<p>"Well that was a mood breaker," she commented discouraged. </p>
<p>"Why, how long have you thought that Santa was real?" </p>
<p>"...." Eleanor didn't answer and Carl prepared to tease her about it; but he stopped when he noticed the serious yet saddened expression she was showing. It was a mixture of loneliness and yearning, and the teenager imagined she was remembering something nostalgic. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But it was gone as fast as it came. Eleanor looked down at him and smiled, "Well one part of me still believes his memory is what keeps him alive. After all, Saint Nicholas was a real man that lived many, many years ago," she let out a sigh and hugged Carl, letting her head rest over his "And I wish to believe that every time someone wants to give a loved one a special gift... not any gift, but one that only you can give away... that's when Santa is alive again," </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"...Santa was real?" </p>
<p>Eleanor giggled and his heart skipped a bit "Yes, of course, he was a priest that lived by east of Europe, around this time, he carried gifts to the children of neighboring villages for the holidays... specially children who were poor or orphaned. He was canonized and therefore declared Saint some years later,"</p>
<p>But part of the explanation was lost on him. Carl hid a giddy smile, his heard warming and his eyes shining with a new kind of light. Santa had been real, he was dead, but he... at one point or another, had existed. He loved that, even if right now all that remained was his memory; he loved the fact that truth was just as magical as the myth, that Santa Claus was not some kind of tale that the parents invented for kids. He wondered if there was a church in Europe or even in America where he could see how Saint Nicholas must have looked like.</p>
<p>He was so entertained with the idea that he almost didn't respond when Eleanor kissed his head and whispered a 'Merry Christmas', slipping a small box in his hands. His father reached forward to wish him the same and the others hugged and congratulated themselves. Then, in between hugs and kisses and smiles, Beth started singing, Eleanor followed short and Maggie did the same. </p>
<p>It was the last 'Oh Holy night' of that day, and while the voices harmonized and echoed trough the prison, Carl closed his eyes and wished his mother could hear them. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So what is this all about?"</p>
<p>Eleanor turned around, her expression was a mixture of mischievousness and  nervousness. Carl lifted an eyebrow and with it, the present he had received on Christmas. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A small grey box, with some kind of metallic grooves on the base. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>At his question Eleanor beamed "You don't know what it is?"</p>
<p>"No,"</p>
<p>"My, what a child you are," she smirked and Carl glared. She knew calling him 'kid' was stepping on dangerous territory; she knew it annoyed him to no end and she didn't care...</p>
<p>Was this a challenge? He was ready for a challenge. Mustering all his willpower, his annoyed expression turned into a nonchalant poker face. </p>
<p>"This is old, isn't it? What an old hag you are," </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She pouted, and Carl smirked. They finally reached the third floor of block A and Carl let out a satisfied smirk. This was all suspicious and he particularly didn't like surprises, but all the effort Eleanor was putting on this made him think that he would not be disappointed. </p>
<p>"Okay! Close your eyes,"</p>
<p>"Eleanor it's pitch black. Even if I wanted to look at something there wouldn't be much I could make out anyway,"</p>
<p>"Just go along with me, soon there won't be so much darkness," </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ah, so there would be electric lights somehow. Right, then it had to be something to do with electricity. Carl relented, and Eleanor stepped away to move something. The noises around him were highly tempting, even Eleanor yelped and cursed a couple of times. But finally, something roared and Carl could recognize the sound of one of the generators. Theory one confirmed. With an exhausted huff, Eleanor seemed to walk to him and then, Carl felt her hands lodging themselves on his eyes. </p>
<p>"Do you not trust me?"</p>
<p>"I'm only guiding you properly. Now walk forward," </p>
<p>Carl did as he was told. It was hard at first, he bumped some boxes or felt some papers under his feet. He flinched at the sensation more than once and Eleanor apologized for not telling him sooner. Either way, they soon arrived at a door; Carl could feel the frame, and then he could see the strong electrical light that passed trough Eleanor's fingers. He had given up on closing his eyes at that point. </p>
<p>"Are you ready?" He closed them again fast and nodded, "Okay! Happy birthday!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She moved her hands away, and Carl gaped at what stood before him. It was a working television. There was only static, but it was working! </p>
<p>He slowly walked to it and inspected the machine. it had been so long... ages! he couldn't help but touch the screen and pass his digits along it. The static made the hairs of his arm stand on end and he could feel the little tingles of electricity o his fingers. He smiled, and tried to move closer to it when his knee bumped something. Looking down he noticed it was a grey rectangle with a hollow space on the middle. </p>
<p>The light allowed him to see the side and he recognized the logo that came along with it. Carl wide-eyed. </p>
<p>"A Nintendo?"</p>
<p>"Yup!" </p>
<p>"Where in THE WORLD did you get a Nintendo console!"</p>
<p>"Well... I passed by a house of a collector, and he had many video game things but this!" She said sitting cross legged beside him "This was unopened! It's brand new! And it came with that!" She signaled to the small box Carl had it his hands.</p>
<p>"...What game is it?"</p>
<p>"Street fighter,"</p>
<p>"Awesome!" Carl exclaimed with a growl "This... Wow," </p>
<p>"You like it?"</p>
<p>"Are you kidding me!" he said huffing and laughing at the screen. "It's amazing, Thank you! Hey!" he said hyped, "How long do we have?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Enough Gas for all night," Eleanor said with a wink, "I'm so happy you like it," He was, but his smile faded away. </p>
<p>"...here,"</p>
<p>Carl pulled out something form his pocket, it was a small colored bag, Eleanor took it. "What is it?"</p>
<p>"It was supposed to be for Christmas, but I couldn't manage to finish it on time," he said looking to the side, "Now it sounds lame, sorry," </p>
<p>"Wait, I haven't opened it yet," Eleanor answered and moved to open the small bag.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Carl closed his eyes, he didn't want to hear it. He could have never imagined that Eleanor had orchestrated something so big for his birthday... it made his present look stupid, it made any present look stupid. He jumped then, when he heard a squeal beside him. Growing annoyed, he turned to silence her... </p>
<p>Until he saw her genuinely delighted expression. </p>
<p>"Carl it's... you made it?!" she stretched it in her hand. The hair band was a mixture of all the types of pink fabric he had found lying around... cotton, silk, and some transparent ones. With help of Carol he had sewn them together and then he had fetched a stretching band to put inside. </p>
<p>"It's nothing much,"</p>
<p>"It's amazing!"</p>
<p>"yeah, I though you'd like pink," he shrugged, "But is not that impressive-"</p>
<p>"Not that impressive?" she said annoyed. With a swift move, Eleanor pulled out her loosed bun and her hair cascaded down to her shoulders and back. As if entranced by it's movement, Carl took a while to return his attention to what she was holding on her hand. He restrained a cringe, an old, black, ragged and certainly overstretched hairband lay hanging from her fingers. "I've had this since the beginning of the outbreak i think! And do you think I could find any cute ones like these around! Mister, You've given me the best present ever," She moved to kiss his cheek but he moved away fast.... instead, she caught his temple "Thank you!" </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I'm glad you like it," he said awkwardly. Come on, he thought, say something else. "So, want to play?"</p>
<p>"You bet I want to play!" She said, tying her hair in a loose ponytail, the pink hairband complimenting her look; Carl blushed. "I choose Bison!"</p>
<p>"Fuck off!! IT'S ME who chooses Bison!" he pushed Eleanor aside "You are a girl, use Chun-Li or something," Eleanor gasped outraged.</p>
<p>"You little-" Eleanor began and Carl smirked. </p>
<p>"It's MY birthday," </p>
<p>"Okay fine.... fine," she connected the second controller "You are going to eat those words back!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Hey, Michonne... Have you seen Carl?" </p>
<p>It was barely dawn, and Rick had had the scare of his life when he passed by Carl's cell and found the thing empty. He had searched around Block C and nothing. It was by crossing early Bird Michonne that he had a chance of finding him. The woman tool a moment to answer. </p>
<p>"He's with Eleanor," </p>
<p>Right. Because that helped him so much! Eleanor was also gone! Rick clenched his jaw. "And... have you seen Eleanor?"</p>
<p>"By Block A I think.... that's where we moved the generator she asked for,"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But he thought that she wanted it on the sentinel post. Rick frowned, he thanked and made his way to Block A. He knew that Eleanor was planning a surprise for Carl's birthday, but he at least thought that he would be included.... However, it was the opposite. His son and the young woman had disappeared early in the night; fight after all sang Harry Birthday to him. They hadn't returned yet, and Rick felt that as a father, he was failing in one of the most basic knowledge... knowing where his son was. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Carl!" he called, but he got no response. Sighing, he started to climb the stairs of the building.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was Ironic, that he often criticized Lori for this and now it was happening the same to him. He couldn't help but wonder what would his wife think of all this now... </p>
<p>But no, he already knew what his wife thought of Carl's close relationship with Eleanor. It had bothered her, from the very beginning that Carl was so attached to her. It didn't bother him, Eleanor was young, responsible, capable and kind. She had saved his son countless times; she projected herself on Carl... that's what he has been told; but he could remember small discussions with Lori, on how... as he grew older, he began obsessing on being beside Eleanor almost every moment. </p>
<p>It started to bother him, when he noticed that Carl wanted to do the same dangerous things she did.  </p>
<p>Rick was about to call once again, when a light distracted him. Moving over it, the old sheriff soon recognized the shape of a television. A television! that's what this was all about, he let out another sigh and a smile crept up his face. He walked forward, probably ready to find them still awake and looking at it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But they were already asleep, Eleanor hugging Carl tightly, spooning him, while the other used the woman's arms as pillow. </p>
<p>Slowly, Rick's smile disappeared, and the voice of his deceased wife came back nagging at him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe it would be best... to put some distance for a while.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello to everyone!<br/>I wish you a Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! and all the blessings for you and your families!</p>
<p>I wanted to make a chapter about Christmas, and there was really no space without disturbing previous plot lines so I preferred to use this space. It is bittersweet! For those who had been wondering why were all the reasons behind Rick deciding that Carl should not hang around so much beside Eleanor before the sickness... now you know another one. </p>
<p>Too bad though, we know that Carl didn't really obey ;) </p>
<p>The next chapter of Book 5 will come out soon. Until then!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Reencounter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Continuing from "The fall of Sodom" on Book 5 of the Unconditionally series.<br/>Eleanor, Carl and Daryl set up a deadly trap that will be the end of Terminus.<br/>Without knowing who awaits at them back at the sentinel post where Tyresse waits.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As per requested, I have elaborated on the part that has been left out of the "Fall of Sodom" chapter, where The explosion occurs and Eleanor, Carl and Rick are reunited with Judith.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>"She'll be alright," </p><p> </p><p>Carl looked up at Daryl, they had used one side hallway for the gunpowder, and this was the second crossing point there were to make. </p><p>He considered Daryl's words for a moment and asked himself... would Eleanor not be able to pull it through?  He knew the answer to that. </p><p>"I know, doesn't stop me from worrying though," he commented letting his empty container to the side. Daryl did the same, and Carl was struck with sudden unease.</p><p>He felt embarrassed, now that all has passed and he had walked away with Daryl. He had seen that private moment with Eleanor, and he wasn't sure if there were times when they had seen them like that but... regardless, he didn't want to share it with anyone else. Reluctantly he turned and asked. </p><p>"About what you saw..." </p><p>"That was a good-luck kiss," he grunted, dusting his hands and turning to walk back to building D, "I wish I had someone to give me one," </p><p> </p><p>Maybe Carol could give him one. Carl smiled but decided to say nothing. He didn't want Daryl to suddenly talk about what he saw out of revenge. </p><p>A good-luck kiss. Somehow... Carl felt that explanation was not quite right, but he preferred that Daryl thought that way. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"We should hurry up, she'll  light the gunpowder any moment-" Daryl began, but he stopped talking when they heard rushed footsteps coming their way. </p><p>Both of them moved to hide beside a wall, sheltered by the shadows. Carl took out his weapon and Daryl did the same, he risked to look forward, reluctanly stepping out of security; but suddenly, he stood completely unprotected. Alarmed, Carl moved to tug him back down, until he felt himself being dragged.</p><p>Daryl was lifting him by the arm, and Carl was about to ask what had happened, when he saw what Daryl was seeing. </p><p>At the beginning of the halfway, they saw a form running to them. Carl immediately recognized it as Eleanor. She was energically waving at them... she looked frantic, and Carl could put two and two together. </p><p>"Shit," he whispered and it was his turn to drag Daryl around, "Run! She lighted it already, Run!" </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They didn't think it twice. Knowing that Eleanor would catch up to them sooner or later, he ran with all his forces. Just as he predicted, he recognized Eleanor's voice behind him, panting exhausted. </p><p>"What the fuck happened!" Daryl asked, but Eleanor said nothing, and they ran inside building D. From the other side, the group that stayed with his father were already up and against the fence.</p><p>"Run!?" Eleanor and Daryl screamed in turn. His father turned to them, a frown on his face.</p><p>"What is going-" his father began, but Carl started pushing him to the fence "Hey!" </p><p>"10-80! We have a 10-fucking-80?! Move your fucking ass or die!" Eleanor said and jumped to the fence. </p><p> </p><p>His father cursed and screamed bomb. Soon everyone followed. Rosita didn't ask questions, Abraham cursed but said nothing else and the guy Eugene was really the only one they had to worry about. Carl climbed after him, right before his father and at the moment of jumping, he lost his footing. He fell only to be received by Eleanor on the other end. He stood fast, and was about to thank Eleanor and take her hand to run but...</p><p>There was something wet, something warm... </p><p>He looked up, Eleanor moved her hand away with a contained pained expression, that's when Carl took a moment to look down and his face contorted in horror to what he was looking. </p><p>Blood... Eleanor was injured. </p><p>But he had no time to ask, his father pushed him forward, urging him to jump the last fence and reach the woods. They jumped past it faster than the first one and just as they were engulfed by trees... there was a strong light.</p><p>Like a wave, the earth shook, and Carl fell to the ground... covering his ears. The deafened sound of the explosion came with a gush of wind.</p><p>He looked around him; the trees moved with the wind, a gush of dirt lifted, and it was colored red and orange. Carl coughed some dirt away; against his nape, he could feel the wave of heat. He felt his heart jumped to his throat... Had the fire reached the forest? </p><p> </p><p>"Motherfucker..." it was Abraham. Carl scrambled to his feet, thinking that they were screwed either way, but he stopped as he looked behind him. </p><p>The flames hadn't reached the forest, but they engulfed everything else. The building D looked half destroyed, like a ruined city, and the fire was consuming it along with everything else. Carl paled  when he noticed that... just like moths, the walkers were being attracted by the flames. They were spread all around the fences, how did they hadn't run into them! It seemed his father had thought the same, he was the first to rise and give his back to the flames in Terminus. </p><p>"We need to leave, the walkers will be a problem soon." </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Well said,"</p><p>They turned. From in between the trees, Carol appeared. She had a poncho on... and from her arm hanged a sniper rifle. </p><p>In a jump Daryl stood and hugged her, Carol laughed and returned the hug. Soon the rest, and by that he meant the ones that knew her, approximated to greet Carol. </p><p>"It didn't know it was a contest," she said when Eleanor hugged her. The women laughed together and the group started walking. </p><p>"I didn't either... but I guess I won either way right?"  Eleanor answered cheekily. </p><p>"Good thing I have a prize then," she answered.</p><p> </p><p>Carl was confused yet relieved. Last time he saw Carol, she had ran away from the prison because of what she did. He was separated from Eleanor then, he doubted the woman knew what happened and even if she did  he doubted she would have done something to stop it. Either way, it was his dad who approximated meekly and with an apology ready on his lips. Carol didn't give him the chance to say anything however, and reached for a relieved hug instead. </p><p>Sometimes, it was easy to make amends. </p><p> </p><p>"How did you find us?" It's was Glenn who asked "are you alone?" </p><p>"I was planning to accompany Tyreese to Terminus, when I heard some of their men talking about Eleanor, Carl and Michonne.... I I knew I had to do something," she said and turned worried. "These people, they were talking about you as if they-" </p><p>"Yeah, it's  better if you don't think too much about it." Eleanor cut her fast, "So, its you and Tyresse..." </p><p> </p><p>Oh right. Carol was not supposed to be found by Tyreese. Carl stole a glance at his father, who exchanged looks with Daryl. It was indeed ironic that in the end they met. But if they were here and together that meant the man had come to terms with all that has happened... </p><p>...Or he simply didn't know. </p><p>Carl shared a look with Eleanor. His father moved to make the presentations and then Carol told them that they had to reach a sentinel post in the woods before leaving... because that's where Tyresse was waiting for them. There was a discussion, Abraham and Rosita preferred to go the other way... given they didn't want to find people nor walkers on the double trip. Being the case, his father decided they would split until they returned, and this is how he, Eleanor and Daryl accompanied his father to pick up Tyresse. </p><p> </p><p>"Why are we ALL going to meet Tyresse?"</p><p>Carl whispered next to Eleanor. His father had been walking up front with Carol and Daryl was on the back. Eleanor thinned her lips. </p><p>"Who knows..." She lifted her shoulders "Probably because it's better to have enough people to defend ourselves if we meet trouble,"</p><p>"..." Carl glared at Eleanor and he tugged her hoodie "You know something," </p><p>"Why do you always think that I know everything!" Eleanor whispered back, she looked annoyed. Carl smirked, not even faced. </p><p>"Because YOU ALWAYS know everything," he said back. Eleanor looked to the side, troubled, and Carl lifted his eyebrows. "You know something," </p><p> </p><p>"You two, keep quiet," His father said from up front. </p><p> </p><p>"So... do you?" Carl whispered again, this time, more careful to keep his voice down. </p><p>"... it is..." Eleanor began, she had the same troubled face; and in the end Carl recognized a sad smile, "It... it could have been my delirious mind I... I no longer know," </p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>"I'm afraid yo say it out loud.... to lift your hopes only to crash them again," She said, looking even more dejected "Either way... it is impossible that..." </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But she stopped, and wide-eyed. Lifting her head, she moved it to hear her surroundings. Carl was about to ask what was going on, when Eleanor broke into a mad run. His father called for her, worried, but he couldn't get a hold of the woman; and Carl moved to sneak past him too and run after her. That was the moment when he realized he could hear it too. </p><p>The cries of a baby. </p><p>Carl stumbled for a moment, and almost fell flat on his face, before doing a mad run himself. His eyes filled with tears and he thought he would fall at any moment, that didn't stop him from trying harder. Could it be possible? Could live be so merciful as to give him everything that he had thought had lost forever? </p><p>He arrived only a couple of steps behind Eleanor. The woman was kneeling and hunching over something. Carl hurried to catch up to her and his knees vended and fell beside her. </p><p>With the faint light that emanated from a lit candle, Carl could make out a short blond hair. </p><p>"Judith..." he mumbled, and Eleanor turned to look at him. She was silently crying, her tears running down like waterfalls. One would think that her heart was broken, but one smile gave him assurance that she was crying out of happiness. </p><p> </p><p>"Ewrno..." </p><p> </p><p>They both turned to look at the baby, little Judith had the trails of tears on her eyes, but at that moment, she was not crying... she looked confused, she looked scared and yet, she also looked worried. Carl smiled, had he heard right? He stole a glance at Eleanor, the women had gone very quiet, and was looking at the baby, her eyes like saucers. </p><p>Judith extended her hands, trying to reach the damped cheeks of Eleanor. </p><p>"Elnor! Elnor!" </p><p>He heard a hiccup beside him; it was Eleanor that was tearing up again. Using his free arm, he moved her head to lean on him and Eleanor hid her face in the crook of his neck. Oblivious of anything, the baby looked distraught at the young woman and back at his brother. </p><p>"Elnor..." </p><p>"it's okay," He whispered, leaning down and giving the baby on the forehead, then on her cheeks, the baby giggled for a moment. "She's just too happy!"</p><p> </p><p>"Tyresse!" It was his father, who came running to them.</p><p>Carl had completely forgotten the black man. Looking up, Tyresse waved with his free hand for the sheriff to spot them, he was using the other one to hold the candle. Just like him, he looked scared when he saw Eleanor kneeling over the ground. Carl moved, trying to lift Eleanor's face and tell her his father was here. Tear-struck, the woman rushed to part and let his father have a look at what they were holding. </p><p>The older man started to tear up too. </p><p>It was pathetic, and heartwarming. He signaled with his had to the front, denying with his head, covering his mouth... Carl could understand, it was impossible to believe... but it was real. With a fast pace he moved to them, and Eleanor barely had time to kneel up to give him the baby before she collapsed again. As if holding the most precious treasure, he caressed the little baby, and this one let herself be hugged, be kissed, and be cried upon. </p><p>Carl kept on hugging Eleanor, who started once again to cry silently. Carl hid her face, and cleared his own tears. He smiled, taking a long breath and letting it out slowly. </p><p>Now everything would be right again. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The gutting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Or the chapter where Carl explains why he hates to gut animals.... but does it anyway.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter goes exactly after "Sinner" on book 5. </p><p>WARNING: this chapter contains graphic depictions of animal skinning and gutting. </p><p>Enjoy</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>It took all his willpower to not speed up and hide behind a tree. Because of that, as soon as he turned the corner, he pressed himself against the wall and with his fore arm, he covered his eyes.</p><p>His face was burning up, a silly thought asking if he would be delirious again. No, he had to be delirious... he had just been kissed. </p><p>Twice. </p><p>By Eleanor. </p><p>And he had insisted for more. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He heard the woman ramble about bathrooms, and he knew he had to rise up and appear as if nothing had happened.... or at least, that it didn't bother him like it did.</p><p>But it did bother him. He wanted a moment to himself; if not to do a victory dance, at least to burn down all the adrenaline he was feeling. Carl rubbed his hands against his jeans, he felt them damp and uncomfortable, and moved to fix his gaze on something. </p><p> </p><p>That's how he found it. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>YOU'LL BURN FOR THIS </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He knew it was not intended to him; but for a moment, he felt afraid. </p><p>"--kay?"</p><p>The young woman had trotted next to him, and her eyes soon landed on the same inscription. Carl let out a sigh, thanking for the distraction  and at the same time cursing it. </p><p>"Define okay?" </p><p>"As in, you were not hurt by any chance." She elaborated, and walked closer to the wooden wall of the church, ghosting her fingers over the letters "but I guess this caught your attention."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Yeah, sure, why not. It did for at least three seconds so that you wouldn't see me blushing like a fucking 13 year old girl. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Who do you think it was intended to?" He asked, walking forward and restraining his hands by hiding them in his pockets. </p><p>"Is that rethoric?" Eleanor asked with a little cheeky smirk. For a moment, Carl's lips tingled. </p><p> </p><p>"No, I'm asking," </p><p>"This could have been intended to Gabriel. By means of praising your dad for his observational skills.... the guy does gave something to hide," </p><p>"Hm," rather, his father had grown more and more cautious, which was also good. "You think he lied to us? Killed people?" </p><p>"I think his sin is more along the lines of omission. He might have been too coward to help someone in need, and this was left for him to remember it had been his fault in the end," </p><p> </p><p>Carl made a face and nodded. It seemed legit. But that also meant there had to be more clues of this event. </p><p> </p><p>"Anyway!" Eleanor said suddenly, clapping, making him jump beside her. "We can think about this later, we need to gut the chicken," </p><p>Carl rolled his eyes. Curse that bloody chicken... ten times over. He rather not look at it... or open it or fill his hands with blood. But it was a chore and as such, it had to be done. </p><p>So they pulled something to sit on, and started working. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As Carl had baguely guessed, there had to be at least a pissing stall around. The priest had gathered small buckets of water over time, and even if the water didn't look good for drinking... it has good enough for cleaning some blood. </p><p>"I'm sorry," Eleanor said suddenly and he turned to look at her. She had started by pulling away the feathers. "You must have had high hopes that Garbiel was a good person..." </p><p>Carl chuckled, and wondered if the Eleanor he had known before would have felt that way at some point. </p><p> </p><p>"You assume I care; that means my social skills have improved," he commented amicably, as he moved to line the squirrels one after the other. At the lack of response, he lifted his gaze and soon stifled a bark of laughter. </p><p> </p><p>Eleanor was left with her mouth hanging open, her eyes looked around, probably recollecting the exchanges he had. Then, her eyes opened wide, and her mouth closed with a snap. </p><p>He felt so proud of himself he knew he would have a shit eating grin the rest of the day. </p><p> </p><p>"I'm left speechless,"</p><p>"Was I that good?" </p><p>".... you are milking it," she said with a smirk that sent his heart racing once again. </p><p>"How could I not," he moved to pierce his blade carefully on the surface of the belly, making a slice. "It was all left for me to learn," </p><p>Eleanor didn't answer, only giving him a gentle but coy smile. Carl smiled in return and they set on working. </p><p> </p><p>Had it always been like this?.... he wondered; but came soon to the conclusion it probably did. </p><p> </p><p>Carl hated gutting animals, he felt as if he was baring himself open instead of the other way around.</p><p>The first time he did such a thing was... not surprisingly, with Eleanor. When they were back at the outskirts of Alanta. He was nervous then, but the need to appear strong and calm overtook him, no way he was going to be regarded as a weak kid by this stranger. His father had already been saved, he had to impress her in the name of the family. </p><p> </p><p>That's what he told himself then, but in reality, he only wanted to learn as much as he could; because being that strong in this new world counted for much more than others imagined. </p><p> </p><p>Eleanor was patient with him; it didn't only make her a good teacher, but it moved him to ask for more. When he demanded to be promised no lies, he felt he had overstepped;  he was nervous, and that only made him even more demanding. It didn't mean he wasn't scared he would be shrugged off rudely.  Instead of that though, she smiled amused, and gave him exactly what he wanted.</p><p> </p><p>Now, he wondered if he had been since besotted. </p><p> </p><p>Carefully placing his knife on the sides of the hide, he moved to use the bucket and put the skin away from the small animal. Almost like a banana, the pelt gave away, until it reached the limbs.</p><p>Yes... he hated to gut animals. But Eleanor did it and so, he also wanted to do it. It had been a dynamic that repeated over and over. Firing a gun, using the blades, killing walkers, hunting... whatever Eleanor did, he wanted to do it too. And at the same time, a seed was growing inside of him... as he was conceeded more requests, his need to demand more became stronger. </p><p>The woman never denied him... not truly, he only smiled and promised. Probably those promises were hard to fulfill along the way, but in the end... what moved Carl to keep asking was that she denied him nothing. </p><p>In a sense, he wanted to voice his wishes and feelings to her. He felt it was important he did. </p><p>So there was no denying it. He hated to gut animals, but he was willing to do whatever he hated if that could save his life and the lite of others. Eleanor wanted him to be a better person, and he wanted to be a better version of himself. </p><p> </p><p>He spared a moment to look at the young woman. He grinned at the picture: feathers had flewn and posed over her head and shoulders, while she tried her best to leave the chicken as clean as posible. From moment to moment, she sputtered and sneezed, and she rubbed her nose with the palm of her hand enough to make the tip red. She also linked her lips from time to time, an habit done more from concentration than thirst. </p><p> </p><p>Light blue eyes lingered on those lips, probably for the tenth time that morning... and he wondered, if he demanded as he often did, Eleanor would bend over and kiss him again. </p><p> </p><p>Even if she didn't, he wouldn't be apologetic. He was not afraid to be as daring  and teasing, as demanding or sometimes as imposing as he often was in front of Eleanor; because he had long ago lost the feeling of not being accepted, or being admonished, or corrected. She accepted his difficult personality just as it was... and because of that he wouldn't feel as relaxed with anyone else. </p><p>Carl probably thought that maybe... that was the reason why he, as he grew up, wanted for Eleanor to feel the same way around him. </p><p> </p><p>Once the pelt was separated, he moved to cut the belly again, this time, deeper. His hand dexterously entered the gut cavity and he pulled the intestines directly into the empty bucket. He was careful to not pierce anything, and left the heart and the lungs inside to clean later. He gently guarded the skin, intact as the skinning method left it; he wanted to make something with it later. </p><p> </p><p>Yes, he wanted Eleanor to be more than a mentor or acquaintance; he wanted a friend... closer than Shane or Sophia; he wanted Eleanor to feel as relaxed as he felt... and maybe, he wanted to be able to hear her be demanding. </p><p>Eleanor was never demanding, at least, not for things that would only benefit her. </p><p> </p><p>The incidents in Hershel's farm had left it clear for him that she was willing to sacrifice everything for someone else... in this case, for someone she cared for. He had wanted her to be more carefree, so he teased her and made her laugh as often as he could; but a pattern was appearing. </p><p>The lost and defeated expression she had when he found her tied to that tree, was something that still haunted him. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe he wasn't so aware he was worried about her when he was younger; but not being aware didn't mean he felt nothing. When his mother died, when he saw her cuddling Judith and silently crying.... something clicked in him. </p><p>Eleanor had made hard decisions for their sake, decisions that were eating her from the inside.</p><p>She didn't need to face that alone. He was there for her. </p><p> </p><p>"Carl, remember to be careful with the gallbladder-" she began from her side. </p><p>"You mean.... this gallbladder?" </p><p>She lifted her face. Carl moved to lift the guts back from the bucket, his fingers easily finding the small organ and he lifted it to view. With a devilish grin, he moved to twist it in his fingers, the thing bulging and deflating.... menacing to burst at any moment. </p><p>"You little devil!" She said with a laugh, "Put that down!" Carl released his hand and lifted it in surrender, the woman shook her head and laughed again. "If I'd known learning the skill came with the cheekiness" </p><p>"Oh.... you wouldn't have teached me?" </p><p>"I would have had mind to tame that sass, young man," </p><p>"There's  still time for trying," </p><p>She smiled "I doubt that," she looked down, "plus... I think I would complain more if it were gone," </p><p> </p><p>Indeed, he shared the same sentiment. Eleanor was not the stary eyed, gullible girl that smiled and wanted everyone to be happy or content. She was also fierce, and once someone overstepped her moral limits, she could get as stubborn as him. </p><p>She tried to contain it, blaming herself for the loss of her mother. But as of lately, she had showed it to him more and without restraint. Eleanor was a sassy, stubborn and childish little thing, that liked to appear harmless to people so that she could pull the rug underneath. </p><p> </p><p>He wasn't sure how or why, but he had always found that endearing. </p><p> </p><p>Even when they were apart, when his father had tried fo separate them back at the prison, that didn't change. He would miss the jokes and the little comments, he would miss the dark humor that accompanied a compassionate mind, he would miss that michievous smile but dead serious stare when it was needed. Carl had deliberately disobeyed his father and seeked her out again. He had feared that Eleanor would not disobey him....  but, when he reached the centinel post and she welcomed him back with the same mischievous smile and compassionate eyes, he wanted to punch himself. He should have never let them be separated, he understood he didn't want to be separated. </p><p>He wanted to be as close as a friend could ever be.</p><p>Maybe more. No, definitely more. </p><p> </p><p>It was almost funny to think he had taken so long to realize what he really wanted. Maybe, as Beth had said, it was the magic of growing up. Carl wondered if things would have  turned out the way they did had he realized his feelings when he was younger.</p><p>Somehow, he doubted he would have stirred Eleanor's thoughts. He was certain she would have tried to reason out the situation as some kind of childish crush. He knew she would have never looked at him with the same desire... the one that she tried to hide, and that set his heart in flames.</p><p>He wanted to feel like that again. And he blushed at the thought that he very much wanted to know where it would take them, were they to let free the heat that waited inside. </p><p> </p><p>Ah... the water was too tainted now, he thought, as he tried to wash his hands and they were left with a rose taint nevertheless. He stood, taking the bucket with him, and taking a peak at Eleanor's own bucket. It was filled with feathers and the intestines of the chicken. </p><p>He leaned in to take the bucket, and Eleanor only moved to look at him once his hat brushed her hair. Their gazes met, and Carl noticed there were so close to each other, he could feel her warm breath leaving her half opened mouth... and he was certain she could feel his. </p><p>"I'm throwing these away," he whispered, light blue eyes traveling down to meet her lips for half a second "and getting more water," </p><p>His heart sung when her gaze wavered, chasing his eyes and lingering as much as him. </p><p>"That's very thoughtful, thank you," she answered, lifting her eyes and smiling, bumping her forehead against his. </p><p> </p><p>Carl grinned, and walked away. His side thoughts ending in a simple idea. </p><p> </p><p>That Eleanor was right. At this point, telling his father now was not that big of a deal. Even if he prohibited them to date, his feelings wouldn't change, her feelings wouldn't change, and the distance between them... the containment, would only be sweet torture and promise of something that would come either way. </p><p> </p><p>"I'm taking a look around the church, searching for more clues," he announced, once he washed the last squirrel and set the bucket in front of Eleanor. She rose her head to him. "Are you set for long?" </p><p>"No, go ahead, I'll search around some seasoning for the meat," </p><p>"Okay then," he said and his hand sneaked it's way to her head. </p><p>Eleanor giggled, when he scratched the hair of her nape and he smiled, certain that none other had been as close as he was now. He smiled, and then he bended over to kiss her forehead, and action that had been done to him and that now... he was moved to do to her. </p><p>Indeed, be it that his father approved or not... it didn't matter. Eleanor was willing to wait. </p><p> </p><p>And he had waited for five years already... what was a little longer. </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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